My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
