he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Randomize
