i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
