We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Randomize
