His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Randomize
