You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
He keeps bees of course he's weird
MIDGETS
????
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
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