Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
