U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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