Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
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