Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
