Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize