She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
