one might say we're banned from that church
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
