She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
