i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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