but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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