At least make sure they are 18
Why
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Randomize