is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I think I won the penis lottery.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
