my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize