Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize
