You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
