If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
We left an ass print on the piano.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
