Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
either way he was missing a nipple.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
it's great music for shaving your balls
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Randomize
