I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Randomize
