I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
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