all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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