Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
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