I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Randomize
