i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
