I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Randomize
