I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
