I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
