I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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