I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
