Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
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