Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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