Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
he was CRYING into my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize