I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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