Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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