My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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