So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
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i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
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He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
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