I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Randomize
