quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Randomize
