We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
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