Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Randomize
