I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
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Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
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I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
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