carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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