fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
