Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
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