so let's talk penis.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
