I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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