i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard