Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
27 Drunk People That Pissed Off The Cops And Got What They Deserved
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
These 25 Soulless Industries Have Been Scamming Us For Years
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.