I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
27 People Confess Their Proudest Fap
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
29 Unspoken Rules Of “Bro Code”
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid