does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
this is an emotional support booty call
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.