we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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