I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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