So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
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