Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
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relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
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You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize