Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize