So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
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