I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
