do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
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