Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
smell my finger.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
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