i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Randomize
