every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
