Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
