Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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