Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
