It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
You know, be my cock's hype man.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Randomize
