I faked an abortion last night.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
