We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize
