Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
