We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
